Friends, "Friends," and Followers: Thoughts On Social Media and Authenticity
A common criticism of social media is that it so dilutes the meaning of friend as to destroy the meaning of friend.
But even back in the old analog world, “friends” was a genuinely elastic term. In the 70s, Wilfrid Sheed wrote of the literary critic Edmund Wilson: “He had a gift for friendship in all its degrees, from the exchange of funny postcards to the complete opening of his mind.” With just a few exceptions, my facebook friends reside easily enough somewhere on that spectrum.
And, as for the exceptions: for some people who are trying to get literary projects off the ground, their “friends’ are any like-minded soul who might help them out. Provided I vaguely approve of what they’re up to, I really have no problem with being a sympathetic field in someone’s database.
I recently read a criticism of twitter that bemoaned that it isn’t real communication. This is hitting a little closer to the bone. Twitter can easily become a part of the Great Digital Incontinence and the Great Digital Distraction.
Even granting that twitter does tend to farce, I don’t care if my “real friends” are on twitter any more than I care if my real friends are at a business conference or writer’s retreat. It would be pleasant to see them there, but the point is loose connections and new exchanges.
As I suggested above, Twitter is essentially a conference. The important thing for me to remember is that conferences can be informative and inspiring. They just aren’t billable.
